My take on: If You Love Your Kids More Than Your Husband, You’re Wrong | YourTango

balancingemma

Click on the picture to get taken to the article!

This article hit home for me. I know I haven’t talked a lot about the mom role but my blog is “Balancing Emma” for a reason. It is hard for me, like mind boggling hard to do this balancing act called life, but I am learning everyday that I am not alone in this crazy thing called life.

I am finding that I am having a hard time being MOM and WIFE. If I leave my daughter for the night with a babysitter, I feel guilty because I was a work all day and didn’t get to see her, (in there is also the feeling I have that other people are judging me because I should be home) But if I skip the social event to be home with my daughter, then I am sad that I don’t get to spend time socially with my husband. I would have never thought I would feel this literal guilt when you leave your child home with a perfectly competent and loving person to go enjoy myself for the night, but it is there and it is so hard to swallow. This article made me feel a little better about myself, made me feel like I am not alone in this battle, and not a bad mom for wanting to go out to dinner with my husband.

It is funny because I am normally a fairly logical person, I just have to tell myself that I am a good mom and stop worrying about people and I know that. I know that I am a good Mom and that my daughter loves me and I love her, but after you have a kid you get this crazy complex that makes me think that it will never be enough. You ask yourself all those haunting questions- What if this is affecting her, what if she is sad that I am not there, what if she feels neglected and put out because I am not there to put her to bed? All these questions run through my mind and its hard, really hard to find the answers to them.

So Balancing Emma is still a work in progress just like my daughter and my husband and our lives right now. I know it will be ok for us in the end but reading things like this article make it easier, so thank to you Huffington Post for posting this and helping me to understand that its ok to put Wife before Mom sometimes.

I am interested to see if I get any feedback from this post. I read a lot online about mothers and I have a feeling there is a portion of them that think this is totally backwards and I am interested to see how people feel about it.

If You Love Your Kids More Than Your Husband, You’re Wrong | YourTango.

Be Happy, for this moment, this moment is your life- Omar Khayyam

happy

I have been struggling with something to write these past couple of weeks. My life has been pretty normal. Work, home, clean, cook, sleep. But I have realized a very important thing in these last couple of days that I decided were good enough to share. Continue reading

Book Review: “All Joy and No Fun”

“There are two ways to lead a life: one in which we act as if nothing is a miracle, and the other in which we act as if everything is.”

Well, I finished “All Joy and No Fun” by Jennifer Senior. I will say that I had high hopes for this book and it wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be. The book was based primarily in the workings of a psychologist that visited different family dynamics who all attended a group session. The author shared stories about how the coped with live with children. Although she had some nice comforting thoughts, the overall premise of the book I felt was more how to overcome the bad parts and less about how wonderful it can be.

untitled

Continue reading

“Your Grown Son Wont Poop His Pants Forever”- a blog by ScaryMommy.com

I want to give credit to [(http://www.scarymommy.com/ “Scary Mommy)] for this blog post. I have read “Motherhood Comes Natuarally” and other vicious lies  by the author of the blog Scary Mommy- Jill Smokler. I tweeted the post here:

I want to disclaimer that this website is intended to be funny. It is intended to make mothers not feel alone in their sometimes overwhelming, always crazy lives. This post hit me very close to home as my daughter sleeps, well, never! I originally read Jill’s book when I was home on maternity leave, about a week after Lily was born. It was like the book was written for me! It made me feel like I wasn’t alone in thinking that the hospital should really have stopped me from bringing this creature home because I had no business raising this wonderful, amazing human being. But I did, and she is growing wonderfully. I highly recommend not only the book but this whole blog and I hope you enjoy!!

Thanks Scary Mommy- keep doing what your doing!

What does everyone else think of Scary Mommy and how did you feel when you first brought home your new little one?

My Plan to plan for my Life Planner :)

https://www.erincondren.com/referral/invite/emmalincoln0922

The link above is for the life planner that I just purchased. I have no idea if its going to work but was inspired by a blog that I follow- http://kaysepratt.com/2014/12/ultimate-planner-review.html.

This life planner is supposed to simply everything. My resolution is kind of just that- to plan and make my life as easy as possible.

So- my plan for my new planner:

Plan my meals–plan my workouts–plan my cleaning–plan my laundry–plan my goals–plan my doctors appointments(and Lily’s and Heath’s and my dog and cats)–plan my blog ideas–plan my shopping needs–plan other needs–plan our budget–plan–plan–plan!!

I will keep you up to date on how my planning of my planner goes- when I get my planner, it should be here by next week and then I can put my plan into my planner and put my plans into action!!

(PS- yes I know I used plan a lot 🙂 )

“All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood”

“All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood”

untitled

I decided to try this book. On the face, it seems like just another parenting book but I feel like I am in a very volatile part of my, Lily, and my husband’s life that- heck- I would try it.

I just started, only read the introduction and at first- hated the way it was going. It began by talking about how hard, and awful, and tiring, and emotionally exhausting it can be to be a parent. I thought it was going to be a book practically bashing parenthood, but then it gave this paragraph:

“Drawing from 1.7 million Gallup surveys collected between 2008 and 2012, researchers Angus Deaton and Arthur Stone found that parents with children at home age fifteen or younger experienced more highs, as well as more lows, than those without children. (They’ve just submitted their results for publication.) And when researchers bother to ask questions of a more existential nature, they find that parents report greater feelings of meaning and reward-which to many parents  is what the entire shebang is about…….”Some people have flippantly concluded that these studies can be boiled down to one grim little sentence: Children make you miserable. But I think it’s more accurate to call parenting, as the social scientist William Doherty Does, “a high-cost/high reward activity.” And if the costs are high, one of the reasons may be that parenthood today is very different from what parenthood once was. “

And I decided to give it a shot. The jury is still out, so I will keep you updated on whether it has all the secrets that no one else seems to have on just what exactly, it is to be a good parent. The book promises nothing- all it promises is to give a different perspective- what childhood does to parents instead of what parenthood does to children.

Just one more tidbit because I really love this quote; I, like most parents I believe, have a serious chip when non-parents talk about life without kids. When they make plans and then say “I wish you could go but you know; you have a kid”. This quote perfectly sums up my current life and I believe most parents with a toddler would agree!

“Prospective parents have no clue what their children will be like; no clue what it means to have their hearts permanently annexed; no clue what it will feel like to second-guess so many seemingly simple decisions, or to be multitasking even while they’re brushing their teeth, or to have a ticker tape of concerns forever whipping through their heads. Becoming a parent is one of the most sudden and dramatic changes in adult life.”

Stay tuned for more, and if you have read the book, are interested, or have some input please feel free to comment!!!

My New Mom Plan

Well here goes nothing!

I decided to start this blog because I had a heck (I really wanted to say H-E-double hockey sticks but didn’t want to start swearing on my first post)- ok, a heck of a week. I wont go into exactly what happened but it was stressful, trying, exhausting, and down right no fun. It ended yesterday with me getting a sinus infection, now not just any kind of sinus infection. I felt like I had a 5 day case of the spins. And when all I wanted to do was go home, chug NyQuil and climb into bed- I of course have a 1-year-old wonderful daughter at home who was not ok with that idea. Now I will pause and give my husband credit because last night I had finally had enough and he did in fact let me go to bed at 7PM. So all of this doesn’t make for an exciting blog post, talking about my sniffling and snot so I will move on, but just needed to vent there.

So, I started a new job, and its going great! I love being back out into the working environment- having a reason to wake up and shower and all of that. What I don’t like is the balancing act- the dishes still need to get done, laundry, you know all of the things that I had plenty of time to do (although I still didn’t) while I was home. So I have decided that I need a plan. Not just a quick, thrown together thing on a sticky note- a real, excel spreadsheet plan.

I bought a hanging organizer for my wall. I know, a HUGE DEAL. But it is. This organizer is going to be the end all be all of my existence. My plan is:

  1. to organize my bills, coupons, important info, and to-do’s in this hanging organizer.
  2. then I  bought a bookshelf and am going to make this so that I can organize Lily’s life I decided.

window seat

 

  1. I am going to follow one bloggers idea and start the dishwasher every morning before I leave for work. Also, I am going to start a load of wash before work. when I get home I will empty the dishwasher and re-fill with dinner dishes, and switch the load of laundry.

However, when will I have time for that glass of wine?!

So, new moms out there- how does this plan sound? Any ideas for a struggling new mom?