My take on: If You Love Your Kids More Than Your Husband, You’re Wrong | YourTango

balancingemma

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This article hit home for me. I know I haven’t talked a lot about the mom role but my blog is “Balancing Emma” for a reason. It is hard for me, like mind boggling hard to do this balancing act called life, but I am learning everyday that I am not alone in this crazy thing called life.

I am finding that I am having a hard time being MOM and WIFE. If I leave my daughter for the night with a babysitter, I feel guilty because I was a work all day and didn’t get to see her, (in there is also the feeling I have that other people are judging me because I should be home) But if I skip the social event to be home with my daughter, then I am sad that I don’t get to spend time socially with my husband. I would have never thought I would feel this literal guilt when you leave your child home with a perfectly competent and loving person to go enjoy myself for the night, but it is there and it is so hard to swallow. This article made me feel a little better about myself, made me feel like I am not alone in this battle, and not a bad mom for wanting to go out to dinner with my husband.

It is funny because I am normally a fairly logical person, I just have to tell myself that I am a good mom and stop worrying about people and I know that. I know that I am a good Mom and that my daughter loves me and I love her, but after you have a kid you get this crazy complex that makes me think that it will never be enough. You ask yourself all those haunting questions- What if this is affecting her, what if she is sad that I am not there, what if she feels neglected and put out because I am not there to put her to bed? All these questions run through my mind and its hard, really hard to find the answers to them.

So Balancing Emma is still a work in progress just like my daughter and my husband and our lives right now. I know it will be ok for us in the end but reading things like this article make it easier, so thank to you Huffington Post for posting this and helping me to understand that its ok to put Wife before Mom sometimes.

I am interested to see if I get any feedback from this post. I read a lot online about mothers and I have a feeling there is a portion of them that think this is totally backwards and I am interested to see how people feel about it.

If You Love Your Kids More Than Your Husband, You’re Wrong | YourTango.

Book Review: “All Joy and No Fun”

“There are two ways to lead a life: one in which we act as if nothing is a miracle, and the other in which we act as if everything is.”

Well, I finished “All Joy and No Fun” by Jennifer Senior. I will say that I had high hopes for this book and it wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be. The book was based primarily in the workings of a psychologist that visited different family dynamics who all attended a group session. The author shared stories about how the coped with live with children. Although she had some nice comforting thoughts, the overall premise of the book I felt was more how to overcome the bad parts and less about how wonderful it can be.

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“Your Grown Son Wont Poop His Pants Forever”- a blog by ScaryMommy.com

I want to give credit to [(http://www.scarymommy.com/ “Scary Mommy)] for this blog post. I have read “Motherhood Comes Natuarally” and other vicious lies  by the author of the blog Scary Mommy- Jill Smokler. I tweeted the post here:

I want to disclaimer that this website is intended to be funny. It is intended to make mothers not feel alone in their sometimes overwhelming, always crazy lives. This post hit me very close to home as my daughter sleeps, well, never! I originally read Jill’s book when I was home on maternity leave, about a week after Lily was born. It was like the book was written for me! It made me feel like I wasn’t alone in thinking that the hospital should really have stopped me from bringing this creature home because I had no business raising this wonderful, amazing human being. But I did, and she is growing wonderfully. I highly recommend not only the book but this whole blog and I hope you enjoy!!

Thanks Scary Mommy- keep doing what your doing!

What does everyone else think of Scary Mommy and how did you feel when you first brought home your new little one?

“All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood”

“All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood”

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I decided to try this book. On the face, it seems like just another parenting book but I feel like I am in a very volatile part of my, Lily, and my husband’s life that- heck- I would try it.

I just started, only read the introduction and at first- hated the way it was going. It began by talking about how hard, and awful, and tiring, and emotionally exhausting it can be to be a parent. I thought it was going to be a book practically bashing parenthood, but then it gave this paragraph:

“Drawing from 1.7 million Gallup surveys collected between 2008 and 2012, researchers Angus Deaton and Arthur Stone found that parents with children at home age fifteen or younger experienced more highs, as well as more lows, than those without children. (They’ve just submitted their results for publication.) And when researchers bother to ask questions of a more existential nature, they find that parents report greater feelings of meaning and reward-which to many parents  is what the entire shebang is about…….”Some people have flippantly concluded that these studies can be boiled down to one grim little sentence: Children make you miserable. But I think it’s more accurate to call parenting, as the social scientist William Doherty Does, “a high-cost/high reward activity.” And if the costs are high, one of the reasons may be that parenthood today is very different from what parenthood once was. “

And I decided to give it a shot. The jury is still out, so I will keep you updated on whether it has all the secrets that no one else seems to have on just what exactly, it is to be a good parent. The book promises nothing- all it promises is to give a different perspective- what childhood does to parents instead of what parenthood does to children.

Just one more tidbit because I really love this quote; I, like most parents I believe, have a serious chip when non-parents talk about life without kids. When they make plans and then say “I wish you could go but you know; you have a kid”. This quote perfectly sums up my current life and I believe most parents with a toddler would agree!

“Prospective parents have no clue what their children will be like; no clue what it means to have their hearts permanently annexed; no clue what it will feel like to second-guess so many seemingly simple decisions, or to be multitasking even while they’re brushing their teeth, or to have a ticker tape of concerns forever whipping through their heads. Becoming a parent is one of the most sudden and dramatic changes in adult life.”

Stay tuned for more, and if you have read the book, are interested, or have some input please feel free to comment!!!