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This article hit home for me. I know I haven’t talked a lot about the mom role but my blog is “Balancing Emma” for a reason. It is hard for me, like mind boggling hard to do this balancing act called life, but I am learning everyday that I am not alone in this crazy thing called life.
I am finding that I am having a hard time being MOM and WIFE. If I leave my daughter for the night with a babysitter, I feel guilty because I was a work all day and didn’t get to see her, (in there is also the feeling I have that other people are judging me because I should be home) But if I skip the social event to be home with my daughter, then I am sad that I don’t get to spend time socially with my husband. I would have never thought I would feel this literal guilt when you leave your child home with a perfectly competent and loving person to go enjoy myself for the night, but it is there and it is so hard to swallow. This article made me feel a little better about myself, made me feel like I am not alone in this battle, and not a bad mom for wanting to go out to dinner with my husband.
It is funny because I am normally a fairly logical person, I just have to tell myself that I am a good mom and stop worrying about people and I know that. I know that I am a good Mom and that my daughter loves me and I love her, but after you have a kid you get this crazy complex that makes me think that it will never be enough. You ask yourself all those haunting questions- What if this is affecting her, what if she is sad that I am not there, what if she feels neglected and put out because I am not there to put her to bed? All these questions run through my mind and its hard, really hard to find the answers to them.
So Balancing Emma is still a work in progress just like my daughter and my husband and our lives right now. I know it will be ok for us in the end but reading things like this article make it easier, so thank to you Huffington Post for posting this and helping me to understand that its ok to put Wife before Mom sometimes.
I am interested to see if I get any feedback from this post. I read a lot online about mothers and I have a feeling there is a portion of them that think this is totally backwards and I am interested to see how people feel about it.
If You Love Your Kids More Than Your Husband, You’re Wrong | YourTango.
Balancing Emma 
I absolutely agree that this is the way it should be. We should love our partners more AND we should put our marriage/relationship first. Implementing this is another thing entirely. It’s hard to do. I haven’t exactly led by example, BUT I would encourage all new parents to do weekly date nights. It’s hard, especially if you have no trusted family close by AND if you’re away from your child all day. Do it anyway.
Mom-guilt is hard all-around, but if you enjoy getting out with your spouse, then definitely go out. We were both too exhausted to actually leave the house, but we got along better when we made a concerted effort to date one another at least once a week. Sometimes it was a game of scrabble after kids were in bed; other times it was a thirty minute Netflix show together. I think the key is the doing rather than getting caught up on which party you love more. Make quality time with your partner a priority.
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Thanks for your comment!!
I really like your last point that it isn’t necessarily who gets more, just that they are both a priority. that is what I plan to focus on!!
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